I'm gay but I have emotionally fallen for a girl?

I'm 15, male, and since childhood I was convinced I was gay and I've only ever had ual thoughts about the same ... However, I recently met a girl who I am deeply in love with only on a purely platonic level... I constantly tell her I love her, and I absolutely mean it.. But now I WANT to be attracted to her ually. I WANT to satisfy her in that way.. but as of now I don't think I physically can. BTW, she doesn't know I'm gay. But I absolutely refuse to tell her I am, I know it would devastate both her AND I if we weren't able to pursue a romantic relationship.Is there even a slight possibility that I can will myself to be ually attracted to this girl? Please, any advice would help. This problem is giving me serious anxiety and it's really eating me up inside, I've several times considered suicide to escape this. I just don't know what to do anymore.